Feb 08

Guest post: Autism and My Child: Getting Familiar with What I Already Know

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

Mama Bear is the mother of 3 young boys, the oldest suffering from Bipolar 1 Disorder and the youngest diagnosed with depression and possible Aspergers Syndrome. I write a blog to let go of my pain and to help support others by letting them know they’re not alone. Her blog is here: http://mysonhas2brains.blogspot.com/

My recent experience in having my youngest son assessed for autism spectrum disorder has taken me for a bumpy ride. At first, I went through a period of grieving that made it hard to eat and sleep. This was surprising since I never went through this stage with my oldest son when he was diagnosed with a mood disorder. Sure, I was devastated at times, but I didn’t struggle with a feeling of loss so abruptly. I think it was due to my desperate need for my oldest son’s rages to stop and my understanding early on that he had a brain problem. Where with my youngest, I had always believed it was just a stage that he would eventually outgrow. Next, I struggled with my guilt and shame for not seeing my son’s symptoms sooner, I felt like a terrible mother who now had 2 kids cursed with a disorder. As I started getting down to business, preparing for our appointment with the Neurologist, I was forced to face all the unknowns and to explore a world I was unfamiliar with. What followed was a long, slow exhale and a feeling of peace. Continue reading →

Jul 12

Guest blog: Why is “getting” our kids so hard?

Posted on July 12, 2012 by Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

Kim Stricker is a Chicago area elementary education teacher, writer, and mom to two tween boys. Kim shares the unconventional experiences of parenting an adopted child with ADHD and Asperger’s, as well as his younger bio brother, at her blog, http://www.lifeslikethis2@blogger.com . She is also a parent advocate and blogger for http://www.empoweringparents.com.

“You just don’t get me.” These are the words spoken to me by my twelve year old son last weekend. The words were said in the middle of one of our endless verbal battles of why he should do something I have asked versus whatever it is he wants to do at that moment. He is right. I don’t get him. In fact, I haven’t really got him since he was about two.

My son’s natural temperament is choleric. A theory dating from BC meaning he likes to be in charge of everything, is moody, and highly disorganized. Add the official tags of ADHD and Asperger’s; he is too busy and doesn’t care what the rest of the family or world thinks either. I don’t get him.

I want so very much to parent him and have him reciprocate a tenth of our family’s naturally good humor, kindness, and patience. However, those moments are very few and very far between. We do celebrate the small steps he is finally able to take with the aid of medications and therapies. He asked my husband how his day was last week. We were beyond thrilled for days.

I don’t get why his brain doesn’t seem to enable him to learn from mistakes,

I think if I can get him more, I could perhaps get more of him, increase his rare smiles and maybe even get the ever elusive hug.

consequences, and solid parenting. I don’t get why he is embarrassed by my actions; yet his disrespectful behavior is not at all embarrassing to him. Countless parenting books, doctors, and interventions leave me stymied.

How do I get him more? Friends offer advice like expect and focus on the positive and ignore some of the behaviors. My husband and I walk around reminding each other he has special needs and kids do well if they can. I think if I can get him more, I could perhaps get more of him, increase his rare smiles and maybe even get the ever elusive hug.

May 18

Guest post: For Special Needs Kids, “The Golden Rule,” Rules

Posted on May 18, 2012 by Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

Erin MacMillan-Ramirez is a graduate of the University of Southern California Rossier School of Education Master’s in Teaching online program which has recently added on a Special Education Program. She lives in Houston, Texas and is currently working on a book about Autism and the education system in America.

What do Spock (Star Trek), Mork (Mork and Mindy) and Abed (Community) all have in common? They are all television characters. They all rely on logic and take verbal interactions literally. They are all childlike innocents, and in the real world they would all be diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. Mork would probably receive a diagnosis of ADHD as well. They are also written as the butt of every “error in logic” or “social misunderstanding” joke on their respective shows. Their natural curiosity, lack of social or verbal filters, and misunderstandings of social cues and sarcasm create the perfect set-up for great practical and verbal jokes on television shows. In the real world, it’s not very funny when people make fun of kids with special needs, but it happens all the time. Continue reading →