Perhaps one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is to help him feel understood. As a parent, it’s the biggest goal I have when it comes to my interactions with our school – to help my kids be understood by their teachers. Of course they’ll have issues, conflicts, misunderstandings, maybe some tears. They have those things at home, despite living with their perfectly understanding and unflappable parents (ha!). So there’s no way to think they won’t encounter bumps everywhere else too. But if those issues can be framed in the context of their unique challenges, if the “why” of their behaviors are at least considered when consequences are meted out or proactive plans are hatched, I’m a happy camper.
Unfortunately, like so many parents, I find goals and realities don’t always walk hand in hand. Awhile back, I wrote about the disappointment of some teacher conferences I’ve had (http://www.easytolovebut.com/?cat=361) and how I wished all teachers had to attend a course that helped them understand what it felt like to have ADHD, OCD, anxiety, sensory issues, Tourette’s, bi-polar or any of a dozen other challenges. The feedback from parents was overwhelmingly positive. But privately, I received emails from friends who are professionals in school systems. Their enthusiasm was far more muted. Even though they themselves struggle with anxiety or their own kids have 504s or they work with students with special needs, they let me know that while sometimes teachers don’t “get it,” sometimes parents don’t “get it” either. Continue reading
